9 months after my miscarriage, 3 cycles of Clomid(a drug that helps you ovulate)…. finally… a positive pregnancy test!
10+ tests later, I’m definitely pregnant!
I was of course incredibly happy, but at the same time so scared. I kept hearing the worst in my head. Replaying my nightmare I suffered last year over and over in my head, I know.. Why do this to myself? Just be happy and positive.
I had great days of positivity, but when you suffer a loss , and you’re a person who is naturally caught in between optimism and pessimism it can be hard, really hard. I prayed constantly for sanity and peace.
The day of my first ultrasound, at 9 weeks was here. Bob was not nervous at all, constantly trying to keep me calm. My eyes were closed tight for the ultrasound, and then I heard her tell me my baby was perfect, exactly the size it’s supposed to be, then I saw my baby, so beautiful, we even saw baby wiggle around, then I heard my baby’s little heartbeat for the first time. I instantly broke down. I felt like MY heart was going to explode.
I couldn’t wait til my 13 week appointment, you see there are points in your pregnancy that you feel like you have to get past to start feeling less anxious, this goes for any pregnancy , but I feel especially when you’ve suffered a loss.
It was at my 12 week appointment last year that I was told I was going to miscarry, getting past that week with a healthy growing baby was a milestone, my nerves we’re still there but I was beginning to feel good and looking forward to this pregnancy. It should be noted that I have a at home fetal Doppler, basically a microphone to hear my babies heartbeat whenever I want. I bought it for reassurance, to feel like everything’s ok, as long as that heartbeat is still there, I wouldn’t feel scared.
My 13 week appointment went amazing.
I finally felt like that dark cloud went away. I remember driving from that appointment so happy, so thankful. I probably looked like a crazy person bawling my eyes out in my car, but I felt the most thankful I truly have ever felt in my entire life.
Every week that goes by I get more and more excited, every time I hear that precious heartbeat I thank Jehovah God for blessing me with this baby, for blessing us with such a gift. In just a couple more weeks we find out if our little bean is a boy or a girl!
Here are my fun pregnancy symptoms!! (Sarcasm)
6-13 weeks- extreme exhaustion , feeling drugged, nausea, indigestion, motion sickness, projectile vomiting.
13-15 weeks- no more nausea, feeling so much better, getting my energy back, lots of stretching pains, occasional breast pain.
16 weeks- Intense breast pain, I had to put an ice pack on my right breast, a little liquid coming out of nipples, sinus headaches from allergies. Yay!